'Dolphins Cry' by Live was playing in the background over and over. My form class had decided that was their new favourite song. I was quite pleased as I liked that genre of music. It was much better than the normal pop choices. I was sitting in the seventh form common room with my group of friends. We were an odd-ball bunch, the ones that didn't fit into any of the stereotypes. Some great characters and we did have a lot of laughs. My best and very close friend was Amy but she went to a different school.
I tuned into the conversation which yet again was negative, how much they hate school, teachers, exams, how unfair this and that was and how they couldn't wait to be finished with school. I used to really enjoy school. I was one of those lucky people that could remember everything I learned. Once it made sense it was in my head for good. Very handy in exams especially for things like physics and calculus. Over the last few months though I had totally lost interest. I went from a top A student to very useless, but I didn't care. Rock climbing and skiing were mainly to blame.
I had a season pass to Mt Hutt and I regularly got the bus to the mountain instead of school. I would turn up the next day with my absentee note, obviously written and signed by me and with a very obvious goggle tan straight across my face.
Since Amy and I had been platform divers we found that we were naturally very good at both pursuits. We started going to the indoor wall every chance we got and the guys that worked there made it their project to teach us. While everyone else’s lockers were filled with textbooks mine was full of ropes and climbing gear. The best thing about our new sport though was the lives that people led. They were exciting, different and full of adventure. It was extremely appealing to me. I felt as though I'd finally found my niche. I still didn't know what I wanted to do but I knew this was the right direction. I've always known that I wouldn't go to university; I never had any desire to. I've also always known I'd be an artist and that I'd have an exciting life, so it never bothered me that I had absolutely no plan on where I was heading after I left school.
As I sat there in the common room that lunchtime listening to the complaints and troubles of my friends, I thought to myself 'if you guys hate this so much and don't want to be here why don't you do something about it?' Then it crossed my mind, I hate this, I'm over being here, I'm ready for the next thing, why don't I do something about it. I stood up, put my climbing gear in my bag and walked to the student office. To officially leave school you need all your teachers to sign your form so I started doing the rounds. Most of them scolded me or said something about how silly and irresponsible I was being. My house group teacher, someone I had had a lot of respect for said, 'you're a failure, you're throwing away your education, you could have been anything you wanted but now you're just a loser', that hurt. I'm forever grateful to Mr Frame, my art teacher and Mr Garside, my physics teacher who were the only two to wish me well. I think Mr Frame had seen it coming. It must have been very hard and disappointing for him as I was meant to be his star student, get a scholarship to art school and make him look really good. I'm forever grateful that he put all the other teachers' expectations aside, that he didn't push me but instead gave me his support and encouragement to do what felt right for me. Some of my teachers wouldn't sign the form so in the end I didn't bother handing it in, what did it matter, I wasn't coming back.
By the time I was through the front gates I couldn't see through the tears streaming down my face. I was so incredibly scared. What had I done? What would I do now? It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I ambled to the bus stop and hopped on the number 60 to New Brighton. It wasn't until the walk home along the beach that I got myself together and thought about what I'd done and what was next. I was way too proud to let on how I really felt when I got home although I bet Mum and Dad knew anyway. That night at the dinner table I told them I had left school, they saw it coming. I told them I was going to be an artist. Mum said, 'as long as you're happy' and Dad, 'as long as you have fun and don't vegetate'.
To be continued…
